Even now I am waiting for the email from a literary agency saying yay or nay to whether they'll represent the manuscript portion I sent in for Faerie Games. Even now I am, literally, biting my nails (a very old bad habit) because of the wait. Even now I am asking God in my personal prayers, why all the waiting?
On top of wondering if the manuscript will get published, I have finals coming up in subjects I sorely want to excel in. Trouble is there is a little thing called "work ethic" I need to master. Consistently doing homework on time while turning it in on time would be a lovely quick fix habit to be granted.
And finally, the universal problem of Americans in this day in age: finances. After all, college is expensive. The next year is covered, but what then? I hardly qualify for anything need based and is there anything academic that's even being offered anymore? I'm looking for jobs, applying to all kinds and asking around. No one seems to be hiring or at the very least are taking their sweet time in looking over my applications. I've had a total of one summer job at Taco Bell when I was 17 and now I find myself either overqualified or under-qualified for everything I see.
The common thread in these issues seems to be waiting. I beg for more patience yet how else can it be gained but this agonizing process of waiting for something to happen? I am making initiative for once in my youthful life, so why isn't it paying off lickity split? Why can't opportunities be served to me on silver platters with federal grants and silver spoons?
Such is the curse of the middle class student, to wait and build patience that way. Character is built is more than a day, as are experiences that make us who we are. I'll have to keep waiting until the fruits of my labor finally start to show up. Until then, I can either whine privately or keep trekking along. I'm finding more often that I end up wanting to choose the latter of those more and more.